When Innocence Is Lost

I wish I could go back to that age

When every letter of the alphabet had it’s own separate page.

Back to when I was cold and mommy would tuck me in at night.

Back to when I was afraid of fighting off monsters so I’d sleep with a night light.

Back to when daddy would reach his arms out at me from inside the pool so I wouldn't drown because I couldn't swim.

Back to when I thought I was good at sports because he would let me win.

Back to when I would pick at the scab on my knee and I’d cry.

Back to when someone was always around to sing me a lullaby.

Back to when I could identify my friends under those villain masks that covered each face.

Back to when bad memories had no trouble being erased.

Back to when happily ever after really did exist.

And Santa Claus really had a naughty or nice list.

Back to when I wanted to be as big as those people who would pick me up so I wished to grow up fast.

Back to when being happy always found a way to last.

But during those days that I ran free,

I somehow lost that innocence in me.

And now I’m at that age

where stacks of paper pile on top of my desk.

And I could read 100 words on each page.

And now I tuck myself in at night

Yet I still feel cold

And I've had practice fighting off monsters so I no longer use my night light.

And now I dive head first in the pool because I know how to swim,

But I still manage to drown.

And I have to be good at sports because my dad refuses to let me win.

And now every time that I pick at the scabs on my heart and I cry

It seems like everyone has disappeared

And no one's around to sing me a lullaby.

And now some people still wear those villain masks that once covered their face.

And I could no longer identify some of my friends

And bad memories will never be erased.

And love stories? Well they still exist…

For a couple of months.

And Santa Claus got tired of adding people’s names to the naughty list.

And now I’m big just like those people who used to pick me up. I grew up so fast.

And I quickly found out that there are certain people who like to put you down,

So happiness no longer lasts.

Who knew that growing up would cost what it costs?

But I guess that’s what happens when innocence is lost.

By: Dea Ballij